Conflict7 min
A Small Comment, A Huge Reaction: 10 Ways to See It
You said something minor and it detonated. Ten readings of why the response was sized for something else, and three questions that find out what.
The Refrakto team
Category
Conflict
Every Refrakto piece on conflict. Sorted newest first.
9 articles
Conflict6 min
The Same Fight About the Dishes: 10 Ways to See It
The dishes fight is never about the dishes. Ten different readings of the same argument, what is actually being asked for, and what to say instead.
The Refrakto team
Conflict6 min
My Partner Shuts Down When We Argue: 10 Ways to See It
When your partner shuts down mid-argument, the silence is usually overwhelm, not punishment. Ten readings of the same moment, and three sentences to use instead of pushing.
The Refrakto team
Conflict7 min
My Partner Says I'm Overreacting: 10 Ways to See It
You brought something up, they said you were overreacting, and now you bring nothing up. Ten readings of that exchange, and three sentences that work better than going quiet.
The Refrakto team
Conflict7 min
Every Money Talk Ends in a Fight: 10 Ways to See It
Someone always walks away angry. Ten readings of the same conversation, why the budget is never the actual subject, and three sentences that keep both of you in the room.
The Refrakto team
Conflict7 min
Every Argument Becomes a Scorecard: 10 Ways to See It
Every disagreement turns into a list of everything you have both done wrong since spring. Ten readings of the pile, why it keeps opening, and three sentences that close it.
The Refrakto team
Conflict13 min
How to Stop Having the Same Fight Over and Over
The same recurring argument is usually not about the topic. A Gottman-informed guide to breaking the loop of gridlocked conflict, with scripts and a real plan.
The Refrakto team
Conflict10 min
How to Apologize After a Fight: 5 Parts of an Apology That Actually Works
A real apology has 5 parts: responsibility, impact, understanding, change, and repair. Scripts and a non-defensive template for after a fight.
Refrakto Team
Conflict13 min
How to Repair After a Fight: The 7-Step Process That Comes After the Apology
The apology is the start, not the end. A 7-step repair process for what to do in the hours, days, and weeks after a big fight with your partner.
The Refrakto team